Feud: Bette & Joan

I have a love/hate relationship with Ryan Murphy. This is not the first time I’m stating this. Hell, I don’t even think it’s the first time I’m blogging this. He can be VERY hit or miss for me, and I don’t mean some projects are a hit and some are shit. I mean, I can love an episode halfway through and then he’ll introduce aliens or purple pianos and I’m lost forever. Until he moves the cast to New York; then I’m back in the game… that is, until he brings them back to the glee club to be school administrators (without a degree, but that’s fine. If Betsy DeVos can do it… too soon?)

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Ryan’s newest show, Feud, will feature a new famous feud every season. My busy body ass LOVES this idea. I think the only person who would love this premise more is my grandmother, but she’s probably busy writing her own Feud series about the people on her block. (Insert Kermit meme with my grandmother’s face photoshopped on here.)

If you live under a rock or aren’t a gay man, you may not know that season one will focus on the infamous behind the scenes of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane feud of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. Gay Rock Dweller/Straight Person reading this: You also may be unaware that Bette and Joan will be played by Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange, respectively. I all but climbed the walls when this casting was announced; I have always been a Sar-fan-don (Did that work? Can I use it again?), and Jessica Lange has made a believer out of me from her work on American Horror Story. (Well, not Freak Show… those musical numbers, but that’s Ryan Murphy’s fault, so I’ll let it slide).

Now, I’ll be the first to tell you – I wasn’t always a fan of old Hollywood. My rule used to be, if it’s made before 1986, I don’t want to see it. But when my husband introduced me to the bitchery and straight up queenery of the golden age, I was hooked.

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I’ve done my fair share of research on these two, and I honestly didn’t know that such drag queen-inspired reads were available for exchange back then:

“Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it’s because I’m not a bitch. Maybe that’s why [Joan Crawford] always plays ladies.” Bette Davis

“Bette Davis has a cult, and what the hell is a cult except a gang of rebels without a cause. I have fans. There’s a big difference.” – Joan Crawford

“The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?– Bette Davis

“Joan Crawford has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie.” – Bette Davis

“You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good… Joan Crawford is dead. Good.” – Bette Davis

…like, what?! Incredible.

The photos and trailers for this new show, while only teasers, are exactly what I could have imagined:

If you haven’t seen Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, see it. It’s haunting, it’s disturbing, it’s campy. It’s two women that hated each other put together on screen to torture each other. To quote Gershwin, “Who could ask for anything more?”

Season one of Feud begins March 5 on FX.

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